Lover, please do not fall to your knees, it’s not like I believe in everlasting love.

Lover, please do not fall to your knees, it’s not like I believe in everlasting love.

tagged as
# Anonymous
I heard that you, settled down, that you found a strip of bacon and you're not married now. Awkward.
Anonymous

I have harem of bacon, your facts are wrong.

tagged as
# Anonymous
Due to the fact that no one wants you anymore and your rigorous self masturbation schedule - is everything cool, you know... down there?
Anonymous

My gyno is top notch. 

sara-cunningham:

Except we let Heidi hide the eggs this year and we had to find them. She hid 50 eggs and we only found 40. Heidi doesn’t remember where the last ten are.

We’re going to be finding eggs till Christmas, I’m sure.

It just continues the fun. Something lumpy in the couch, oh look it’s chocolate!